Off-Topic: Bleeding for Rails!
Let me add one more episode to the saga inspired by the posts of Vinicius and Tapajós from Improve It, respectively:
As you may remember, I announced a few months ago that I intended to go to RailsConf. My ticket was already purchased. But a problem came up: my visa is still valid until 2010, except my passport had expired and I had forgotten about it.
“No problem,” I thought. You just go to the Federal Police and it gets sorted out in a matter of hours. Friends of mine did exactly that at the end of last year and are in Europe now, no trouble at all.
Vinicius and me, after literally “bleeding” for Rails! :-)
How wrong I was. And so my saga begins. In fact, here I am, writing this article straight from Galeão airport in Rio de Janeiro!!
The Price of “Modernity” - Part 3
At the end of March I tried one of the Federal Police offices in São Paulo, the kind that operates out of a shopping mall. I gathered my documents, paid the fee, and went there in good faith. I couldn’t even get in. The answer was: “You now need to schedule online.”
Ok, I tried scheduling online. In the system (once again, the dreaded SYSTEM) there were no available dates whatsoever. I figured it was a problem with THE SYSTEM, as always.
So I went straight to the Federal Police headquarters in Lapa. I arrived early, got in a huge line and, after about 3 hours, managed to speak with someone whose only answers were:
“If you didn’t schedule online, you can leave.”
“Emergency travel only applies if you can prove you’re going to die tomorrow.”
“Don’t bother trying, just go.”
He did tell me new scheduling days were about to open, and that this was the only way. People with already-purchased tickets were sent away.
A few days later I managed to book a slot when new dates opened, something that apparently happens every Monday late in the day. Except the available days only started in June!!
RailsConf is at the end of May, so that was that. I tried friends, contacts, everything. Nothing worked. I was already giving up on the trip.
Seventh Cavalry: Dengue!
After the whole month of April went by, I had completely let it go. The RailsConf ticket was already cancelled. Then on Monday (the 5th), Vinicius emails me this link which basically said the following:
The Federal Police (PF) of Niterói has joined the campaign against dengue fever. From May 5 to 16, the force will make available 100 slots for passport issuance with no scheduling required. The current wait for a scheduled appointment is already two months. To participate, the interested person simply needs to go to the University Hospital Antônio Pedro, in the city center, donate blood, and get a “Donor Declaration.”
Everyone stressed at the Niterói Federal Police,
just like at every Federal Police office in the country.
Vinicius told me by email that he went on Monday and pulled it off.
So I got on a bus at midnight today (the 7th), landed at 7:30, and went to the blood bank at the University Hospital. At 9:00 I went to the Federal Police and, after another hour of waiting, managed to book an appointment for 3pm that same day.
What did I find out in the meantime?
The bottleneck at every Federal Police office in the country came from the rollout of a “new” SYSTEM to issue the new digital passport. And, as was to be expected, government procurement only manages to bring GARBAGE in: the passport system is the very definition of wasted public money.
To make things worse, the Niterói Federal Police office runs a single 512kbps link for 60 computers!! Locating one passport in the batch takes about half an hour. The officer was practically in tears from having to use this system. No wonder the police serve everyone stressed out: it’s inhumane to make someone work on a garbage system like that, on a connection worse than dial-up to boot!!
Me, getting to know Niterói. Thanks Vinicius!
What did I learn from all this?
That getting a passport in Brazil now requires, literally, bleeding for it!! It’s the most surreal situation I’ve ever seen. If someone had told me, I wouldn’t have believed it. Good thing I took photos to prove I’m not crazy!
At least, after the Federal Police appointment was booked, Vinicius showed me around several beautiful parts of Niterói, which, by the way, is an excellent city. I hope to come back with more time to visit at a leisurely pace.
My flight leaves in a little while, at 19:20, back to São Paulo. On the 15th, next Thursday, I need to make the pilgrimage back here to pick up the new passport. And I need to arrive before 7am or else, according to the officers, I might end up waiting up to 5 hours!! I hope nothing else goes wrong.
Now it’s a sprint to see if I can still iron things out and make it to RailsConf. It’s going to be a rush: the event starts in just 3 weeks, on the 29th!!
Phew!
PS: while I was donating blood, I was even interviewed by a reporter from Record TV in Rio. It seems it’s for that Wagner Montes show. If anyone manages to catch it, tell me later how it went :-)
Even gave a TV interview today!