Off-Topic: Bleeding for Rails!
Let me add one more episode to the saga inspired by the blog posts of Vinicius and Tapajós from Improve It, respectively:
As you may remember, I announced a few months ago that I intended to go to RailsConf. My ticket was already purchased. But a problem came up: although my visa is still valid until 2010, my passport had expired and I’d forgotten about it.
“No problem,” I thought. As is always the case, you just go to the Federal Police and it gets resolved in a matter of hours. Friends of mine did the same at the end of last year and are now in Europe with no trouble at all.
Vinicius and me, after literally “bleeding” for Rails! :-)
How wrong I was. And so my saga begins. In fact, here I am, writing this article directly from Galeão airport in Rio de Janeiro!
The Price of “Modernity” – Part 3
At around the end of March I tried to go to one of the Federal Police agencies in São Paulo — the kind that operates out of a shopping mall. I gathered my documents, paid the fee, and went there in good faith. It turned out I couldn’t even get in. The response was: “You now need to schedule online.”
Ok, I tried to schedule online. But in the system (once again, the dreaded SYSTEM), there were no available dates whatsoever. I figured it must be a problem with THE SYSTEM, as always.
So I decided to go directly to the main Federal Police headquarters in Lapa. I arrived early, got in a huge queue, and after about 3 hours managed to speak with someone whose only responses were:
“If you didn’t schedule online, you can leave.”
“Emergency travel only applies if you can prove you’re going to die tomorrow.”
“Don’t bother trying, just go.”
Then he told me new scheduling slots were about to open. And that was the only way. People with already-purchased tickets were sent away.
A few days later I managed to schedule online when new dates opened. Apparently this happens every Monday late in the day. But there was a big problem: the available scheduling dates only started in June!
Since RailsConf is at the end of May, there was no way to make it. I tried friends, contacts, everything — nothing worked out. In the end, I had already given up on the trip.
Seventh Cavalry: Dengue!
After all of April, I had completely let it go. My RailsConf ticket had already been cancelled. Then on Monday (the 5th), Vinicius emails me this link which basically said the following:
The Federal Police (PF) of Niterói has joined the campaign against dengue fever. From May 5 to 16, the force will make available 100 slots for passport issuance with no scheduling required. The current wait for a scheduled appointment is already two months. To participate, the interested person simply needs to go to the University Hospital Antônio Pedro, in the city center, donate blood, and get a “Donor Declaration.”
Everyone stressed at the Niterói Federal Police,
just like at every Federal Police office in the country.
Vinicius emailed me to say he went on Monday and succeeded.
So I got on a bus at midnight (on the 7th), arrived at 7:30, went to the blood bank at University Hospital. At 9:00 I went to the Federal Police and after waiting another hour I managed to schedule an appointment for 3pm the same day.
What did I discover during that time?
The reason for the bottleneck at every Federal Police office in the country was the rollout of a “new” SYSTEM for issuing the new type of digital passport. Obviously, as was to be expected, the government’s “bidding” system only manages to bring GARBAGE in, and also more than obviously, the passport system is the very DEFINITION of wasted public money. But this is obvious, because this is how ALL government “SYSTEMS” work.
Making things worse: the Niterói Federal Police office has a single 512kbps internet connection for 60 computers!! Imagine that locating a passport in the batch takes about half an hour! The officer was practically in tears having to use this system. No wonder the police are all stressed and treat us poorly: it’s inhumane to make someone use a system that is the very definition of GARBAGE, and under a connection worse than dial-up!!
Me, getting to know Niterói. Thanks Vinicius!
What did I learn from all this?
That getting a passport in Brazil these days literally requires bleeding for it! This is the most surreal situation I’ve ever seen. If someone had told me, I wouldn’t have believed it — thank goodness I took photos to prove I’m not crazy!
At least after scheduling my Federal Police appointment, Vinicius showed me several very beautiful parts of Niterói — which, by the way, is an excellent city. I hope to return with more time to visit at a leisurely pace.
My flight leaves in a little while, at 19:20, back to São Paulo. On Thursday the 15th I need to make the pilgrimage back here to pick up my new passport. And I need to arrive before 7am, because according to the officers, I might end up waiting up to 5 hours!! I hope nothing else goes wrong.
Now it’s a sprint to see if I can still iron things out and try to make it to RailsConf. It’s going to be a rush since the event starts in just 3 weeks, on the 29th!!
Phew!
PS: while I was donating blood, I was also interviewed by a reporter from Record TV in Rio. It seems it’s for that show with Wagner Montes. If anyone happens to catch it, let me know how it went :-)
Even gave a TV interview today!